Going against the grain

Wow. My new job has kept me crazy busy and the longer hours have had a huge impact on my free time. Really, a big adjustment but I love it! I'm actually learning again and it's wonderful. This has meant two things for my CR though:

1. I have had *no* time to weigh and measure everything I eat so have been DTBIC for the last week.
2. I've hardly had time to think about food. This means I eat less but have also been eating more quickly and perhaps not getting the best nutrition (steamed frozen veg vs fresh for dinner etc).

I've also been getting way too little sleep and I've found this makes me 'hungrier' during the day. Tiredness is a big stressor for me so I look to food for comfort. Nothing horribly bad mind you, but I've found myself eating grains, namely bread, which is so available when eating on the run.

Every so often I re-read April's post How to Start CR for girls and each time I agree a little bit more. I'm fine with my protein intake and regularly get over 70g per day, with over 30g at breakfast. This mostly comes from whey protein, low fat yogurt and prawns (shrimp). I've had issues with cutting out grains though. It's just so friggin difficult (wah wah wah)... but I know I can do it and I know it will be totally worth it. I just don't like how I feel after eating grains - bloated, sluggish and craving MORE, no matter how low GI or whatever they are. This weekend I ate rye bread on Saturday and whole grain cereal (all bran) today. Both supposedly "healthy" options but both kicked off huge carb cravings which I detest. So, I'm going off them. I find it much easier to go cold turkey than to have a little every now and again, so it's bye bye bread and cereal. I won't be missing how wretched you make me feel!

I'm also going to try to lower my saturated and up my non saturated fat. Balancing omega 3s and 6s however, may take a little more time...

Too busy to CRON?

No way! I've had a super busy week since last Wednesday. I left my old job, spent the weekend in scotland, started a new job on Monday and had major boyfriend issues all week. The weekend wasn't great as I visited my parents and I can never resist my mum's cooking but otherwise it's been pretty good. I've been too busy to put everything into CoM but I can tell I'm on track: my weight's dropping and my skin is clear and I feel energetic. One of the good things about my new job is that I'll be working hard all day, not having to think about food or nutrition and I'll need to prepare lunches in advance. The office has a microwave, which is a novelty for me after 2 years of working where they were considered a threat to health and safety. I doubt the weather in London is going to get much better in the coming months so does anyone have any good recipes for reheatable food I can make in a batch on the weekend, freeze and eat all week?

I've given myself a new rule of not eating junk (free or otherwise) at the new office. I think I'll be pretty successful as the staff there are so busy they just don't have time to think about buying treats to offer other people. The cafeteria has a cheap but meagre salad selection, though they do have oil roasted vegetables which I love. I've been eating salads there since I started and probably will do again tomorrow. Today a had a couple of spoonfuls of rice and peas and a couple of spoons of tuna pasta with my veg. For dinner I had some canned sardines, canned vegetable soup, and steamed frozen soya beans with wasabi. I'm on a semi-vegetarian-craving-beans kick at the moment.

Also going to navigate the route to work tomorrow on my bike. The shower facilities there are nice - they even have a steam room!

Storing avocado

Does anyone have any tips on how to store an avocado without it turning brown? I'd like to eat one over the course of a few days. Is this even possible?

Cat eats corn

Camo Peach

Camouflage Peach
Originally uploaded by cronuk

So I calmed the hell down a little over the weekend and stopped worrying so much about food, calories, hunger and meal timings. I ate when I was hungry and I ate things that perhaps weren't optimal (dark rye bread and brie!) but I feel much better about myself.

Still I'm 2lbs over the weight I need to be for my competition on Saturday so I need to be quite careful with my intake this week.

I re-realised that I too often concentrate on my failures with cr and forget my achievements. This afternoon for example, I chose not to have lunch but joined my colleagues in the canteen. I won't lie, it is near torture to sit and watch people eat my favourite foods (of course the one day I go to the canteen they have burritos) but I keep reminding myself it's *my* choice and not giving in to each and every food desire, both mine and other's, makes me feel so much better in the long run. I think about my camo peach sitting at home waiting for me after taekwondo tonight and how much more satisfying it will be to eat it knowing I triumphed over my learned reactions to the sight and smell of gak. Unlike Mary's healthy canteen, ours serves its fair share of gak along with adulterated healthy options (fish and veg slathered with butter; salad with dressings).

I've also noticed that eating a high-protein breakfast and not having lunch actually helps manage my hunger better than eating a big salad at work. The experimentation continues...

Weight up again

Well I've had a completely ad-lib long weekend of eating at my parent's house. I don't know what it is about going there that makes me eat so much. I suspect it's linked to emotional eating and how going back home makes me mentally slip back into childhood where I could eat anything and everything it wouldn't matter. My mother is also a complete binge-enabler: "you're allowed just a little treat once in a while". Nooo mother! I had to beg her not to have her usual hoard of chocolates in the house before I came down so instead she had a heap of dried fruit, nuts, fresh fruit, cheeses... need I go on?

I brought my little scales with me (which I have yet to blog about, but needless to say they're awesome) but I did I use them? No! I think I was too embarrassed because we had a cousin from far away staying with us. I'm so paranoid that people will think I have an eating disorder if they see me weigh my food. Well, I'm actually worried I do have an eating disorder anyway. I gained 8 lbs in four days! That's not healthy. I feel really bloated and fat around my face. It's the most I've weighed all year and to be honest it's left me quite depressed. I had to drag myself out of bed this morning and had no appetite all day. I have a martial arts competition in two week's time and I know I won't make the weight category, my body just won't give up the weight that quickly. I guess I have to face up to the fact that right now I'm not doing CRON - I'm basically just binging and fasting. I can't give up though, I want to be fit and slim and live a long and healthy life so I'll continue to update this journal and do my best at calorie restriction with optimal nutrition.

I want to not crave carbs so much. I want to re-learn how to respond to my body's hunger signals instead of just feeding it at regular intervals. I want to reduce my portion sizes and not crave more when I'm finished. I want to learn how to make more delicious, healthy food. I want to be able to deal with hunger better - it's really not the end of the world if I'm hungry for half an hour. I want to be able to turn down unhealthy food without feeling deprived.

I have to list some positive things because otherwise I'll just sit here and cry and think about how I've ruined my body and fitness in the past month.

* Still cycling to and from work every day. I raised my seat a few inches and it made all the difference to my speed.
* Started jogging/running/stumbling in the early morning - at an embarrassingly slow pace.
* Bought iron supplements for days when I'm low.
* Bought a bag of brazil nuts for days when I'm low on selenium. Hopefully I won't eat these by the handful!

Well, as I said before, I can't give up. I am truly dedicated to CRON and I hope that will make all the difference.

“tottering between the worlds of crap and health”

A nice quote from the CR society mailing list archives. It's how I feel about my CR at the moment. I know enough about nutrition to make good choices but I don't know enough about myself yet to make those choices consistently.

Therefore, some lists:

Things I’ve learned about myself from doing CR
• Prior to CRON I was eating fairly nutritious food but way too many calories. When I wanted to lose weight I would eat less but my nutrition would suffer.
• I gain weight and store fat very easily. This sucks right now but will be good for my CRON in the long term. :-)
• I need very few calories to maintain my current weight (between 1300-1400kcal per day).
• I lose weight best and have the best fitness when I am in the midst of a running and light weight lifting regime.
• My muscle mass goes away within a matter of weeks when I stop weight lifting.
• I feel best when I’m doing 'hardcore' CRON (weighing and measuring everything) and exercising a lot.
• Exercise is my best appetite suppressant.
• Unless I make a conscious effort, I don’t drink enough fluids during the day.
• I am addicted to carbs such as bread and pasta, cakes, sweets and chocolate. I also find strong/flavourful cheese very addictive. These foods are major binge triggers for me.
• I can overeat legumes and grains very easily.
• I can eat a lot of food, be full, and still want to eat more.
• When I’m out I sometimes buy single servings of trigger foods (such as a small cake) which on its own would be acceptable CR but almost always triggers an extremely strong desire for more.
• I love trying new foods and eating out at restaurants, particularly fine dining or unusual places. However, most restaurant meals are a huge binge trigger for me.
• I find food waste abhorrent and get angry when I see others wasting food.
• I therefore find it very difficult not to clean my plate.
• I find it very difficult to turn down free/freely available food.
• My appetite is stimulated by the sight, smell and even description of food.
• My hunger peaks between 10 and 12 am regardless of whether I’ve had breakfast or not. Similarly I also get very hungry between 4pm and 6pm.
• Sometimes I am hungry in the morning, sometimes I’m not.
• I have become way more interested in food and nutrition since I started CRON.

Changes I’ve made
• I no longer keep pasta or bread in the house. I don’t buy large packets of any kind of trigger food.
• I keep any carby trigger foods I still have from the bad old days (rice & beans) out of sight.
• I rarely eat meat at home but I sometimes have salmon sashimi on a Saturday.
• I eat bigger quantities and a wider range of vegetables.
• I no longer eat cereal at home.
• I no longer drink milk at home.
• I buy my vegetables either frozen for convenience or fresh from the farmer’s market every Saturday.
• I accurately measure my breakfast and lunch every week day.

Things I still need to do
• Eat more calories during the day and fewer in the evening.
• Fill up on vegetables before I go out.
• Weigh food where I can (e.g. at parent’s house, secretly at boyfriend's house) until I learn what 100g of a food looks like so I can estimate properly.
• Cut back on eating out or eat fewer calories in the week to make up for a weekend meal.
• When eating out choose the most nutritious option on the menu or attempt to fill nutrient deficiencies.
• Forgive myself when I eat calorie dense foods.
• Identify the calorie dense food as a treat, enjoy it and stop there.
• Distract myself/chew gum to prevent eating more.
• Brush my teeth straight after dinner or as soon as I get home if previously eaten.
• Avoid going to places where my motivation will be tested.
• Just because it’s free doesn’t mean I have to eat it.

I went to Borough Market and...

... ate one 'medium' oyster and NO cheese or cakes! It was zincerrific.

Did get tabasco sauce on my work shirt tho... damn it :(

New favourite dinner = minted peas

I recently discovered that, after edamame, minted peas are the most delicious side dish in existence. So simple to make too! Simply pour as many peas as you want in your steamer and sprinkle liberally with dried mint (I guess fresh would work too). In 2 or 3 minutes they'll be ready. I ate mine with some steamed broccoli.

My third favourite side dish is also really simple: sliced fresh organic tomatoes sprinkled with crushed sea salt & lots of pepper, fresh basil leaves and extra virgin olive oil.

No love for the big salad

Well, at least not from my work colleagues. I, however, love my big salad. As a matter of fact it’s not that big: 120g romaine, 150g tomato, 200g cucumber, 15g red onion, 50g cubes of low-fat feta and 100g low-cal hummus (thanks for the recipes Arturo!).

Why are some people compelled to pass judgement on a defenceless salad when not a comment is made about the gentleman eating a plate of chips (fries) with mayonnaise? Indeed, it would probably be downright rude to comment on the greasy gak but it seems salad is fair game. Fear not poor salad, I will defend you and continue to eat you every day around 12. x x x

Nutritionally useless foods update

- Small bag of bulgur wheat: threw this out.
- Small bag of dried black eyed beans (cow peas): cooked these with tomato, adobo chili and tabasco sauce to bring to a housewarming party.
- Half a bag of quinoa: Used it all up for dinners and lunches.
- Small bag of green lentils: cooked these with indian spices and low-fat yogurt and ate for several lunches.
- Bag of brown rice: all gone.
- Small bag of azuki beans: Not used yet, maybe this weekend.

Hummus (too much tahini)

Am I right in thinking that chickpeas are an ok food for CRON, high in both iron and zinc? Hummus definitely helps me fill up on raw veggies. My local supermarket sells a hummus that’s 135 kcal/100g. Not as low as the big supermarket’s low-fat hummus 133kcal/100g but that’s usually mixed with low-fat cream cheese or something to thin it out and doesn’t taste as good. I also don’t want to buy from the chain supermarkets if I don’t have to. Both contain several E numbers which I haven’t learned off by heart yet, so I'm wary.

Therefore I’m making my own with my blender! I bought a can of chickpeas (77kcal/100g – so low, can that be right!?), tahini, a lemon, cumin and some garlic. I used about 1/3 cup tahini which was way, way too much. It’s so high calorie! I also used 3 cloves of garlic, again overkill. The recipe came to 200kcal/100g. Hmmm. I’ll have to refine the recipe. I’m determined to get it lower than 135kcal/100g.

Faltering

Ho ho ho… Well this certainly has been a week of not sticking to what I said I’d do when it comes to my CRON diet. I’ve not been trying hard enough and slipped back into eating higher calories. Lots of meals out with friends and colleagues, which are really lovely and enjoyable but soo bad for my physical well being. Way too many delicious sweet things aging me prematurely. I’ve been drinking just water and tea and eating only veggies at home though! Like that makes up for it…

I keep thinking to myself that I should know how to do good CRON by now. I mean, I have been trying this for months and I’ve got all the advice I need at my fingertips with other CRON blogs and the CR society archives. But I’ve gained 10lbs since March when I was calorie restricting without particularly doing ON.

When I’m disciplined I’m really, really good and CRON is easy and fun but when I let it all go I get depressed and let it all go even further and eat whatever I want. I think I see CRON as a game. When I’m sticking to the rules (low calories, 100% RDAs), it’s awesome but if I break the rules, even once, I’m no longer playing the game and I quit… until I start playing the game again. I hate the fact that I’m still so black and white in my thinking.

I weigh and measure breakfast and lunch religiously but it all goes wrong at dinner.

And I hate the fact that I’m still addicted to sugar and refined carbs!

But… I love that doing CRON, even for this short time, has made me try so many new foods. I used to be quite a fussy eater but now there’s almost nothing I wouldn’t eat. Except mayonnaise. And marshmallows (eww). But no big nutritional losses there! I used to hate curry, olives, cucumber, courgettes, squash and whey protein powder but I’ve since learned to love them all. I’ve learned so much about the calorie content and nutritional makeup of food and gotten better at estimating calories, though I’m still by no means an expert. I read labels. I remember calories per 100g. In fact, I’ve become more knowledgeable about the whole messy and exploitative process of food production and very rarely shop in the big retail supermarkets anymore. I now get nearly all my veg from the local farmer’s market, cutting out the middleman altogether.

My cooking skills have improved and I no longer keep things like cereal, bread and pasta in the house. I used to eat bowls and bowls of pasta last year (slathered in cheese) but now it’s a once-in-a-while treat. I haven’t eaten a microwave meal in many months. I eat very low-fat yogurt with pumpkin and sunflower seeds and I love it.

I understand what triggers food my food cravings and phantom hunger signals: not drinking enough fluids and boredom. I have very little to do in my current job and spend more time than I should thinking about food (I’m blogging at work right now!). The good news is I’m leaving in three weeks for a much more stressful (but better paying) job where my mind should be busy for the vast majority of the day. When I’m busy I sometimes forget to eat but I think if I continue to bring my lunch every day I should be fine.

I continue to notice that brushing my teeth and removing my contact lenses when I get home in the evening creates a Pavlovian sense of ending the day. It prevents me from eating anything more and I start to feel ready to sleep no matter how early it is.

On Monday I cycled to work and home again for the first time, a round trip of 8 miles. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for ages. Cycling through central London is exhilarating and dangerous. I’m not a confident cyclist at the best of times so the journey there and back requires half an hour of pure concentration. I’m making sure to follow the highway code and stop at every red light. I can’t believe the blasé attitude of some of my fellow cyclists. Don’t they realise they could be crushed to death at any moment? And if I didn’t hate the bendy buses before I sure do now: they are agents of death! I didn’t cycle in today or yesterday because of the rain but I’m going to purchase a charming yellow raincoat this evening so there’ll be no excuses tomorrow.

I have a competition coming up in three week’s time and need to drop my weight by about 8lbs to do well. So definite motivation there. This really needs to be the last day of eating at-lib! I also want to start running regularly to improve my cardiovascular fitness.

TTBMLR

TTBMLR is my new acronym: Trying To Be More Like Robin. One of the things I like about Robin’s blog is that she keeps a separate blog detailing her food and data from COM. It’s been really helpful to me to see an example of a real CRON diet for someone who’s about the same height as me. So, I’m going to start doing the same, as much as I can. I have to realise there will be times when I can’t measure everything (like restaurant food) but when I can I’ll post my COM data. Obviously I want to do that as much as possible to get some good stats on my nutrition deficiencies. This will help me be a bit more accountable to myself because other CRONies will be able to see what I’m eating. There’s nothing like knowing someone’s watching you to keep you from eating that free brownie.

I’ve also purchased a very cute portable scale so I can measure food when I’m out. Discretely, of course! It should be arriving any day now. Very exciting. One thing I did notice that quite a lot of portable scales are designed to look like mobile phones. How wonderful, I thought, the designers have catered for the furtive needs of the CR community! This was until my flatmate reminded me that these scales may be used for less virtuous consumption… I opted for a non-cellular looking scale. Photo to follow when it arrives.

Cleaning out nutritionally useless foods

In my cupboard I currently have:

- A small bag of green lentils
- A small bag of dried black eyed beans (cow peas)
- Bag of brown rice
- Half a bag of quinoa
- Small bag of azuki beans
- Small bag of bulgur wheat

My question is: given that I'm aiming for between 1200-1400 calories per day, which of these foods would you consider nutritionally useful and which useless? Which would you keep and which would you give away to hungry flatmates?

Squash baked in marinara sauce

Squash baked in marinara sauce
Originally uploaded by cronuk

Slightly burned. Ugh... I was doing so well today too! Messing around with photos was what did it, I completely lost track of time. It tasted great though and the smell drew my flatmate out of his room. Which left me with a dilemma: you often hear of CRON people being tempted by the food from the plates of others (I am as guilty as anyone in that respect) but what does one do when a non-cron wants to partake of carefully weighed and measured deliciousness? I was planning on eating the whole thing. Do you encourage nutritious eating or refuse, prioritising your own optimal nutrition?

I chose to encourage and spread the word of CRON. The zen was short lived however, when an hour later I was starving.

I decided to make the tofu chocolate pudding since I had enough calories left over.

I hated it!

What a waste of chocolate! I'm off tofu for life. YUCK! Bleurgh! Horrid. Never again.

I consoled myself with some low-fat custard and (unfortunately) some nutter butters my flatmate offered in compensation for the squash. Not a fair trade, I feel. I was at about 900 calories after dinner but these few yucky sugary trans-fatty snacks pushed me up to 1500. Great.

Moral: sometimes it's best not to share.

Grilled oatmeal herring with rainbow chard

Grilled oatmeal herring with rainbow chard
Originally uploaded by cronuk

Today was a bit of a one-huge-meal day as befits a Sunday in this country. My dinner was not the usual grease-laden roast though, it was a mini farewell to the bad old days. I used up the last 15g of the oatmeal which has tempted me too many times from the virtuous path of CRON. The oatmeal was laid to rest scottish-style on two lovely herring with a little smear of a low-fat spread and lemon juice mixture to keep it in place and seasoned with fresh thyme, dried parsley, salt and pepper. Grilled on a medium heat. Only one herring is pictured; I ate two.

Yesterday I made my second trip to the organic farmer's market, before noon this time, which yielded much better results than last week. Even though tasty cakes, breads, cheeses and pies attacked from all sides, I managed to abstain and instead obtain 20p's worth of some lovely rainbow chard (pictured) which is sweet, delicious and extremely pretty. Also purchased a summer squash, knobbly cucumber, cos lettuce, rhubarb tomatoes, eggs and some lamb's liver which has since been made into a pate. The rhubarb, likewise has been prepared, stewed with splenda and cinnamon and eaten with low-fat custard (see flickr). The leftover rhubarb will likely be part of breakfast tomorrow.

I feel like I've eaten a feast though I'm only at 909 calories for the day. I think I'll stay low since I ate out at a Turkish restaurant yesterday (cue bread and hummus) and had a vegan, sugarfree brownie at the cinema as well as reminding myself earlier in the day, via a friend's plate, why I loathe fried chicken.

Kale creations

Cauliflower cheese on a bed of kale
Originally uploaded by cronuk

This is a cauliflower cheese I made for my dinner last night. The cheese sauce is made from a mixture of soft silken tofu, cream cheese and a splash of soymilk. I used weight watchers low-fat onion and chive flavoured cream cheese at about a 2:3 ratio of cheese to tofu. You could use whatever ratio you perfer. It was a bit dry so next time I'd probably add more liquid. Topped with 2g parmesan and ground nutmeg.

~163 calories

Also on my flickr is a 2 egg omelette with prawns and kale for 231 calories which turned out a little too salty because I added some soy sauce.

Tonight I made a pate with the organic liver I bought at the farmer's market over the weekend for iron and B vitamins. It's setting in the fridge overnight!

No dinner tonight for reasons to be explained when I'm less tired.

My weekend of CRON restauranting

Friday, Indian: Ordered a tandoori grill with red lentil dal. The dal was nice but probably contained too much ghee. The tandoori meats were mostly ok except two pieces of chicken which were served coated in a sweet sauce. I tried to ask how they were cooked before ordering but the waiter didn't speak much english and didn't really understand. I also tried a few bites of my boyfriend's hot lamb curry. No rice but unfortunately I did have a poppadom with chutney and 4(!) chunks of peshwari naan bread because I was still hungry. This was mostly due to urging from my boyfriend to 'try some' (I HATE THIS!) and not wanting it to go to waste (food waste is a big bugbear of mine). No dessert as the naan bread was sweet enough! After the restaurant we went to a bar where I had a glass of tomato juice and a non-alcoholic cocktail made with strawberry syrup and milk... bad!

Saturday, Japanese: Shabu Shabu is a dish which consists of thinly sliced beef you boil yourself at the table. It's served with vegetables and udon (I was going to ask for the udon to be switched to salad). I'd never had it before but was looking forward to trying it. The restaurant however, had other ideas and required a minimum of two people to prepare the dish. Instead I had mixed sashimi with a steamed octopus salad. Both were very small dishes and I was still hungry afterwards. No dessert and I decided not to go to the bar given the excess of the previous night. For breakfast that morning I ate a 230 calorie two-egg omelette with kale and prawns. Kale is lovely in an omelette! I also went to the farmer's market and bought some organic veggies, liver, eggs... and a delicious chocolate cupcake with dried cranberries. In fresh and wild I also had a chip with guacamole. Not the best nutrition but within my calorie limit for the day.

Sunday, Spanish Tapas: Again this morning I had the kale and prawn omelette to use up those ingredients and a little yogurt with sliced mango for 372 calories. This afternoon my friend and I went for all-you-can-eat tapas which was dire. I chose olives, spanish tomato salad, mixed salad, mussels in a tomato sauce, chicken in a white wine sauce and a baked aubergine dish for the table. I shared these with my friend who had half the chicken and mixed salad. I tried a piece of his spanish omlette, two fried squid and about 4 pieces of chorizo. I had a fruit beer with this too but no dessert. This was definitely too much food and unfortunately the mussels must not have been cooked properly as they caused me to be ill shortly afterwards. This evening I just had a banana as my appetite is not really with me. Not a great CR day.

CRON eating out success

I had a (minor) CRON success last night! I met up with my sister in one of those despised corporate chain pubs the youth are so fond of these days. Examining the menu for the healthiest item, I concluded it was either the salmon and asparagus or the prawn salad. Since I'd already had prawns in my homemade lunch salad I opted for the salmon. It was the first time I'd ever asked for sauces or dressings 'on the side'. It felt so weird! But good! I also asked for the salmon grilled, not fried. This meant the meal took longer to come out but that was fine. I later learned that this was because the chain pre-fry the salmon and then warm it up for the salad as and when it's needed - urgh! It came out lovely and barbeque-y on a bed of lettuce and grilled asparagus. Dressings were two little pots of garlic mayonnaise and a honey mustard dressing. I tried a knifeful of the mayo - disgusting, but the honey mustard was sweet and I ate about half of the little pot... hmm. I also ordered the green vegetable side which contained green beans, broccoli and two types of asaparagus (Love that stuff). Unfortunately those lovely steamed greens had been topped with a wodge of butter. I drained them as best I could and added them into my salad. Why does everything in this country have to be slathered in butter?

I'm glad I had the chance to do that because tonight and tomorrow I'm eating at restaurants. Tonight's is indian which I'm guessing is going to be pretty lethal in terms of calories. I kept my breakfast high in protein (a 2-egg omlette with mussels and mushrooms plus a vanilla/ginger/cinnamon protein shake) and lunch was a tub of watermelon cubes. I can't quite remember what COM said this morning but I think it came to no more than 700 cals. Tonight I'm going to avoid rice, curry, fried food, popadoms, naan bread etc and stick to tandoori grilled meats and sauceless, vegetarian dishes like aubergine, dal and lentils. I hope that's the CRON thing to do! I don't think an Indian restaurant would appreciate being asked for sauces on the side???

Breakfast - coffee/vanilla protein shake and egg

Breakfast - coffee/vanilla protein shake and egg
Originally uploaded by cronuk

I thought I would do a photo study on my breakfast. I eat a whole(!) boiled egg most mornings plus low-fat yogurt with fruit and seeds as well as a vanilla protein shake with a shot of espresso. Yes, I drink my protein shake from a beer glass. :)

When I have enough time I'd like to compile a table of low calorie dairy sources available in the UK and how they compare nutritionally to their US counterparts.

Another Shirataki Dinner

Dinner
Originally uploaded by cronuk

Tin of chopped tomatoes from the back of the cupboard, seasoned with dried basil & oregano and tabasco. Fried (no oil) with shirataki, fresh garlic and a chopped up quorn banger. Fresh basil, 2g grated parmesan and black pepper to serve.

~ 200 calories (163 without the shirataki).

Today marks the end of six days of absolutely atrocious eating triggered by gourmet restaurant food, cheese, oatmeal, museli, bread, pasta and chocolate. Urgh! I'm way too addicted to starchy carbs and sugar and need to go cold turkey on sugar and reduce white carbs for at least a month if not six months. I simply cannot eat them in small portions yet.

My biggest problem is my black and white attitude towards weighing and measuring food. I keep thinking if I can't weigh and measure, I can't do CRON. If I eat a cookie, I've 'failed' for the day and might as well eat half a dozen cookies. This is a really bad habit. I'm going to try to blog more often as it helps keep me focused on good nutrition which really is key to doing CRON and not going wiggy with sugar and carb cravings.

I got 98g protein today! It's amazing how much protein helps with hunger and carb cravings. I'm also experimenting with reducing my portion sizes and drinking lots more during mid morning when i'm craving carbs the most.

Thinking about meat

This evening my flatmate made a beautiful lamb and aubergine dish for our dinner. However, watching the lamb cook in its own juices, entering it into COM later and seeing the saturated fat bar jump up to over 100% has made me rethink my attitude towards eating meat, particularly in my own home. I've decided I'll put a stop to buying meat and fish but I'll still buy fresh shellfish. I figure since I eat out between 2-3 times per month and generally order a meat dish when I do, this should be sufficient for me to get my meat and fish requirements. I'm going to go as veggie as possible when cooking at home. My main protein sources will be whey protein powder, low-fat dairy, quorn and shellfish.

Beans, Beans and Lentils

Today I've had the world's most ridiculous craving for beans which I believe has been caused by a weekend of hideous non-CRON debauchery (why why why can't I resist free food?). I included half a tin of white beans (well rinsed) in my salad this morning to get a little protein and since midday have been craving beans like nobody's business. Came home and had one of my favourite snacks - half a pack of edamame boiled from frozen in their pods with a dolop of wasabi paste. By the way does anyone know what the difference is between the two COM entries for frozen edamame? Does "prepared" mean boiled and in their shells or boiled and out of their shells?

After the beans I was still craving beans or beany type goodness so I boiled half a cup of green lentils (86g dry) in water with some tumeric and a dried chilli until they were falling apart. I've never made lentils for myself before but they appear to be the Ultimate Comfort Food! I didn't realise how much they swelled so half of them are still sitting in the pot for later. Next time I'll make half as much.

Last Night's Dinner

Low-cal Dinner
Originally uploaded by cronuk

Japanese curry sauce with quorn chicken style pieces, asparagus, mango, ginger, onion, lime juice and shirataki. It looks a lot more greasy than it actually was. I didn't add any oil though, promise! The little block of curry had enough saturated fat on its own. I think it's just glistening from the mango.

~450 calories for the entire pan! COM said 445 but I don't have the nutrition info for the shirataki. I know they're pretty low cal so I'm just rounding up. This amount of food would feed 2 but I ate the whole lot because I had eaten less than 50% of my calories before dinner. I was really hungry!

The whole thing according to COM was 19g protein, 10 g fat, 59g carbs.

Recipe
25g Japanese curry sauce
100g Quorn chicken style pieces
89g Asparagus (boiled in COM)
6g fresh lime juice (could do with more lime. zest might be good too)
4g raw ginger
260g raw mango
60g raw onions (too much onion for me but I wanted to use it up)

COM says I was still under 1100 for the whole day but I wish I'd eaten more earlier on than be hungry enough to wolf down 2 bowls of curry before bed.

Also, what do people do if COM doesn't have a value for a cooked food? Is the raw value still ok to use? I guess it's always an approximation.

Tonight I'm staying at my mother's and tomorrow I'm going to a wedding reception. I'm going to try to adopt Robin's DTBIC attitude!

"Healthy" food is relative

So yesterday after having a great CRON breakfast and lunch, I let myself down at dinner. Firstly with free gak at work with pizza and spring rolls (amongst others). This was a "gift" for working late! Secondly with muesli at my boyfriend's house after our MA session.

Overall, I'm quite annoyed at myself. I should have had better self-control. I let myself down because I caved into doing what other people want and expect me to eat. Moreover, I don't want to WANT to eat gak anymore. When I'm truely consistent with CRON I feel the best I've ever felt. I'm resolving to be more like April - "I want to live my life according to my own priorities and goals, my true will... not according to unconsidered and unquestioned biological compulsions, and not according to what will please others."

This is exactly how I want to be. First off I need to start questioning my own eating compulsions and take responsibility for my own bad choices. I don't want to feel deprived when I turn down gak, I want to feel like I'm saving myself. I want to see gak as something I just don't eat, like plastic or marshmallows (eww). I recognise this will take time. Secondly, I don't want to eat simply because it will please others. I want to eat CRON food when I want to eat it and when I'm actually hungry. The case in point is last night. I went back to my boyfriend's house and chowed down on a big bowl of muesli, dorset cereals to be precise. Absolutely divine but has had a serious laxative effect (ahem). Probably 500-600 cals worth for one bowl. What a waste...

What also keeps getting to me is that, like muesli, there are so many foods out there that people are duped into thinking are "healthy", pasta, rice, cereal and breads, fruit yogurts and other high calorie products. Really these things can have as many calories as a sweet dessert or piece of fried chicken. Of course, this all has to be taken in context body size and how many calories you should be consuming per day. If you're tall and muscular like my boyfriend then a bowl of muesli is a "healthier" snack to follow dinner. If you're small and slight like me, it's an extravagant dessert... equivalent to him eating a whole cake or something!

I think I can marry these two though. I want to reduce portion size and increase the quality of the food I eat. I also realise that a CRON diet has to involve some fun/enjoyable foods. Some recalculation is clearly required. Oh well, I'm sure the first year will be a learning process. I'm just thankful that there are so people out there in internet land who have done this before.

Tatsoi, figs and portion sizes

I've mentioned previously that I've taken to making my own salads for lunch instead of eating in the cafeteria at work. This has has had a great impact on my CRON, (except for one day this week where my leafy greens weren't so fresh and turned a bit watery during the course of the morning). One of the greens is something called Tatsoi which isn't listed in CoM. Very frustrating! I've been unable to locate it on nutritiondata either. Same goes for baby chard.

I've also been thinking about something I read on a CRON blog (can't remember which one) about fullness, portion sizes and how it's best to reduce portions, eschewing bulk due to fullness stretching the stomach. I generally make my way through my huge salad in one lunch hour (12-1) which leaves me satisfied but also a little bloated, which I don't like. I get quite hungry before 12 and can't wait for my lunch. I consume it within an hour and the fullness lasts for about 3 hours after which I'm hungry again and usually eat a piece of fruit. However, today I tried eating my lunch only until I wasn't hungry anymore and saving the rest of the salad until later. It seems to be working! Another tiny step forward in CRON. :)

This morning I had a little scrambled egg for breakfast alongside a lovely fresh fig with low fat yogurt and pumpkin seeds.

Drink calories and protein shakes

One thing I am grateful for with CRON is that I rarely drink alcohol. In fact, when I do it's usually due to social pressure rather than any desire to drink it per se. I like red wine but I also like water, tea, juice and milk just as much, if not more. I don't ever crave the taste of wine, beer or spirits. I'm just rather indifferent to them. My usual liquid intake consists of a huge mug of green tea in the morning along with several cups of water during the day and evening. Recently I've been having a vanilla whey protein shake in the evenings after my dinner as dessert to up my protein. The brand I use is met-rx supreme in vanilla flavour which I mix with unsweetened Alpro soymilk. I really enjoy the flavour and texture and it helps to keep my sweet tooth at bay but at 160 cals for 250 ml it bloody better. I'm also a total soymilk convert now, I find it tastes so much lighter and fresher than skimmed milk.

Low-cal Crab & Sweetcorn soup

Serves 2

600ml water
1/2 Chicken Stock cube - I used an oxo cube
115g (whole tin) of John West White Meat Crab in brine
115g Green Giant Salad Crisp Sweetcorn
30g Egg White
15g Spring onions
Ginger to taste - I used 4g

Dissolve the stock cube in a little water and then add to the remaining water and bring to the boil. Then add onions and crushed ginger (I dry fried mine first) to the stock followed by the crab and sweetcorn. Stir the soup while you drip the egg white into it so it forms little strands.

1 serving is just under 100 cals and provides about 13g protein.

For dessert I had 100g of mango with 70g low-fat yogurt for 93 calories. Yum!

Lazy

Woah - it's been over a month since I posted here. Though I think that's more to do with the fact I forgot my blogger password than anything else.

My CRON for the past month has been a mixed bag. I had one week of pure binging on Free Food on a training course which wasn't good and wasn't CRON. Also had a few meals out so I couldn't measure my calories there. However, when I'm at home I do much, much better and am measuring nearly everything I eat. Eating outside of the house is a bigger problem, unless I'm eating a pre-made wrap or something.

While I was on the training course I made a list of things to do to help improve my CRON, so now I'm going to see how well I've been doing at them!

1. Prepare lunch the night before and take with me to work. This has been going really well! I was always good at measuring my breakfast and I've now added lunch to the list. I usually have a big salad for lunch with spinach, rocket, other green leaves, tomatoes, mushrooms, spring onions, green and red peppers. I was adding tuna to the salad but have given up recently because it smells and I've become a little tired of it. Lately I've been adding in a small amount of cous cous to use up the packet I have in my cupboard. I find that some carbs with the salad really help control my carb cravings during the afternoon. I usually eat an apple mid-morning and then the salad at 12.30 or 1. I've also been adding in some of the vinegar/oil/cinnamon salad dressing April mentioned in her blog.

2. Don't even go into the canteen. My work canteen is home to all kinds of tasty treats including some very "healthy-looking" lunches. I used to buy my salad there every day but that meant I couldn't measure and therefore didn't quite know how many calories I was eating. It also meant that other higher calorie (and higher priced) lunches caught my eye. Now I don't go in there at all so I'm not tempted to splurge.

3. Don't keep cash in purse. I have been trying to use this as a technique to stop purchasing impulse food and it has worked to some extent, but I've found that if I really want something I'll buy it anyway. The next point on the list has actually helped more than this.

4. Tell yourself NO and just walk away. When this works it really works well. I feel annoyed at myself for a few minutes sometimes because I might have really been craving that piece of chocolate or bagel but later on I feel better and am glad that I just walked past the temptation. There is definitely room for improvement here though.

5. Reinforcing thoughts. What I mean here is thinking how much better I'll be at exercising and how I'll fit nicely into my favourite clothes. If I do this with point 4 it really seems to work and helps me not to give in to petulant cravings.

6. Brush teeth after dinner or when I come home if I've already eaten. The idea behind this was that if I've brushed my teeth I won't eat snacks in the evenings because I'm lazy and don't want to go to the effort of re-brushing. I haven't been doing this very much at all though. One of the things I did when starting CRON was to replace my snack food with healthier snacks like almonds, hazelnuts, pumpkin and sunflower seeds. However, I've found that I am the kind of person who can eat several handfuls of nuts and seeds in one sitting. I was starting to eat way too many and they're so high calorie. So, I've decided that I'm going to stop buying the nuts get my fat from nut oils instead. I definitely don't feel like snacking on oil when I get home!

So although I've had some bad days I feel like I'm getting more control over my meals and snacks. Dinner is the next hurdle! So I've made some new points to add to the list.

1. No restaurant food until I've got down to my desired weight.
2. Avoid Free Food situations where possible.
3. Make (and measure!) as much dinner at home as possible. On this point I think I'm going to try experimenting with soups and steamed vegetables as they seem to be more filling and lower calorie than my usual dinners.
4. Find more nutritions fruit options than apples and bananas.

Good CR day

Had my usual breakfast today of boiled egg, yogurt and fruit which came to 190 cals. Forgot the wheat bran though, so I ate a hazelnut. For lunch I had a slice of waitrose delicatessen vegetable tortilla (165) and 100g of mango (65) so after lunch I was at 420 and not at all hungry! For dinner I made a stuffed pepper but didn't measure out the ingredients... damn it. Plugged it into CoM anyway and it reckons I've had about 800 cals today. w00t!

Mutant Strawberry

Mutant Strawberry
Originally uploaded by cronuk.

What a strange looking fellow!

Chicken Kebabs - Last night's dinner

Chicken Kebabs
Originally uploaded by cronuk.

I skewered paprika covered chicken with onion, tomato, red and green pepper. Served with Tzatziki which I made with cucumber, yoghurt, dill, mint and waaay too much garlic. My Tzatziki is heavy on the cucumber.

Saturday food insanity

Due to yesterday's doughnut incident I didn't feel very hungry this morning, which is always a warning sign that I've over-eaten the day before. Usually I can't wait to chop up my little strawberries but this morning I just had a boiled egg and 5 hazelnuts. I started my first Japanese class today at SOAS which ran from 10 until 12 and I worried that if I didn't eat breakfast I might get hungry while I was out, which might have lead to unmeasurable eating. I needn't have worried though, because my two arch-nemeses Restaurant Food and Free Food thwarted my plans for anything resembling a CR day.

I met up with my friend for 1pm sushi at Kulu Kulu. I wasn't even hungry yet but I had two pieces of avocado sushi which looked a bit like these ones on the left, 4 pieces of salmon sashimi, a fish soup and a delicious but deadly mochi. Like this but without the cream. So long "not one bite" rule! This is precisely my problem with restaurant eating! :(

After the mochi indulgence I got a huge sugar craving which I managed to stave off until I got home. This was done with great difficulty because I'm completely addicted to sugar and it seemed like everyone and their goat on Regent Street had an ice cream in hand. I've developed a new trick which seems to work quite well though; whenever I see strangers eating food that I'm craving, such as a burger or ice cream, I pretend that they're eating a lump of pure lard or a cone full of butter. This distracts my mind long enough to contain the impulse to get some too.

I seriously just need to stop eating sugar altogether because if I go for long enough (usually 1-2 weeks) without it I no longer crave it at all.

On the way home I purchased some carrots, spring onions, black grapes, strawberries, raspberries and yogurt and was planning on a small dinner. By the time I got home I was pretty dehydrated and frazzled from the day so I made my favourite comfort food: guacamole. I make mine with 1 avocado, 1 spring onion, 2 tomatoes and 1 birds eye chili. I ate the whole damn lot plus 2 Onigiri my flatmate had left for me. How kind of her! Free Food strikes again. :(

I then proceeded to eat an entire bunch of black grapes, 3 strawberries, 10 hazelnuts and 5 almonds. Bleurgh... binging once again but at least this time it's not on doughnuts.

So... I've over-eaten and feel pretty crap right now.

The CRON Tipping Point

Welcome to my CRON blog! :)

I've been reading about CRON for about a month now and slowly adopting some of its general practices. It seems to me that it's the most useful and sensible method for me to lose weight, eat a healthier diet and feel better about myself. I don't fully believe in the longevity argument for CRON because I haven't read enough of the evidence but I do think it will enable me to live longer by helping me avoid the risks associated with being overweight or malnourished. I've begun to improve how I measure the basic number of calories in food but haven't started using the CRON-O-Meter yet.

Like a lot of women, my primary goal is to lose weight, but in a healthy way - by losing body fat, not muscle. I need to retain a fairly good muscle mass for my martial arts training. My body fat percentage is around 19% at the moment. I'm reasonably active - I do an hour's aerobic cardio work out twice a week at my taekwondo class and will be extending this to 4 hours per week starting this week. I don't own a car so I walk nearly everywhere. I really love exercising and sports but my body doesn't react as well as I would like due to the excess weight I am carrying. I also want to look cute in my clothes!

Over the past 18 months I have lost approximately 20 lbs. I'm 5'2" and a year and half ago I was verging on 10 stone (140lbs). I got this back down to 133 lbs fairly rapidly then spent a year getting down to 119 lbs which is rougly where I am now. Since January I've been trying to stay at 112 lbs consistently. The lowest I've got this year is 111 lbs but my ideal weight is somewhere around 105 lbs.

I tend to yo-yo between periods of fairly good nutrition and periods of quite bad nutrition where I adopt a 'no cares' attitude, gain weight and feel depressed about my health. I really love food and my weakness is chocolate, ice cream and sweet things. I'm quite lucky in that I rarely drink anything other than water, so wine and coffee hold no temptation for me. Cakes, chocolate and the like are another matter though!

I do better at both calorie restriction and good nutrition (I'm nowhere near optimal yet!) when I eat by myself and cook for myself. My biggest problems are:

1. Eating out. I love going to restaurants with my friends and my boyfriend. There's something so enjoyable for me in engaging in conversation over good food. It's one of my most favourite things. There are so many good restaurants in London and so little time to try them all! My problem is that I tend to adopt this mindset that I must have the yummiest thing on the menu because otherwise I will be missing out. I feel really annoyed when I make myself compromise and choose something healthier. It's almost as though it's a wasted opportunity to try something extra specially tasty.
2. Turning down Free Food. This is the big one! I very rarely buy chocolate or sweet things for myself. In fact, I don't keep any sweet food in the house besides splenda and fresh fruit. However, when food is Free I will binge like there's no tomorrow. Even when I'm in a period of healthy eating, I find it impossible to turn down Free Food, even when it's extraordinarily unhealthy. In fact, this morning's binge on Free doughnuts and cookies is what inspired this blog entry. Although it felt amazing to consume the sugar and chocolate, the period of self-loathing following the walk back to my desk made me think: "this is enough!" I was seriously considering throwing up the whole lot in the bathroom but then I thought, no! I want something good to come out of something bad. I want to develop the will power to turn down gak without feeling angry or deprived. Starting now I am going on April's "not one bite" rule and officially committing myself to CRON. No turning back! I guess I should feel grateful to those doughnuts for finally giving me the push I needed. :)
3. Interruption of my food routine. For example, when I stay over at my boyfriend's house on a week night I usually eat breakfast at the work canteen which is a higher calorie breakfast than I would have had at home. I also have no way to be sure of the content of what I am eating.

The good news is that I have (what I think is) a pretty good breakfast routine going on at the moment. I weigh myself using Tanita scales every morning after using the bathroom but I don't record this anywhere - I'll start doing that. Then for breakfast I have:

• 1 boiled egg - ~ 50 grams - 77.5 calories
• Tim's Dairy Spring Dew Very low fat yoghurt - 125 grams - 50 calories
• Wheat bran - 6 grams (1.5 tbl spoons) - 12.96 calories
• Fresh strawberries - 30 grams - 9.6 calories
• Fresh blackberries - 25 grams - 10.75 calories
• Sunflower seeds - 2 grams - 11.4 calories
• Pumpkin seeds - 2 grams - 10.82 calories

This works out to about 183 calories with 16.2 grams of protein - nowhere near the 25 grams April recommends! The Zone ratios are 38:42:20. I'm normally quite ready for lunch around 11.30 with this breakfast. I'll try plugging my breakfast into CoM tonight.

I'd like to get the same sort of stability with my lunches and dinners too. At the moment I'm aiming for 1000-1100 calorie diet every day.